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🔥 BURN
BABY
BURN.

A historical archive of companies lighting millions of dollars on fire for 30 seconds of airtime while you were in the bathroom.

TOTAL_BURNED: LOADING...
ROI: ??? $0.00
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59

Super Bowls

of financial regret

ALERT_002

$8M

Current Cost

per 30 seconds

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19,048%

Price Increase

since 1967

$$$ BUY_SODA $$$ BUY_TRUCKS $$$ BUY_INSURANCE $$$ BUY_CRYPTO_(LOL) $$$ BUY_BEER $$$ VALIDATE_BRAND_PLZ $$$ BUY_SODA $$$ BUY_TRUCKS $$$ BUY_INSURANCE $$$ BUY_CRYPTO_(LOL) $$$ BUY_BEER $$$ VALIDATE_BRAND_PLZ $$$
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[THE_BRUTAL_TRUTH] 📊

⏱️ $266,666

Cost per SECOND of airtime

💰 +$2-5M

Production costs (not included)

🚽 Most viewers

Are literally in the bathroom

📱 Everyone's

On their phone anyway

REAL_COST: $10-13 MILLION FOR 30 SECONDS 🤡

[THE_JOURNEY_TO_INSANITY] 🎢

>> A historical tour of throwing money into the void

Super Bowl I (1967) 🌱 The beginning of madness
$42,000
Super Bowl XV (1981) 💰 Breaking $300K
$324,000
Super Bowl XXIX (1995) 🔥 First $1M+ ad
$1,150,000
Super Bowl XXXV (2001) 💸 $2M club
$2,100,000
Super Bowl L (2016) 🚀 Passing $5M
$5,010,000
Super Bowl LIX (2025) 🤯 PEAK INSANITY ACHIEVED
$8,000,000
🔥 YOUR_CFO_IS_CRYING 🔥 BOARD_WANTS_ANSWERS 🔥 STOCK_PRICE_DROPS 🔥 YOUR_CFO_IS_CRYING 🔥 BOARD_WANTS_ANSWERS 🔥 STOCK_PRICE_DROPS 🔥 YOUR_CFO_IS_CRYING 🔥 BOARD_WANTS_ANSWERS 🔥

[THE_ARCHIVE_OF_SHAME]

>> Scroll through 59 years of questionable financial decisions 👇

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[BUT_WAIT_THERES_MORE!] 🎪

Don't forget: you ALSO need to spend $2-5 MILLION to actually PRODUCE the commercial!

📹 Production: $2-5M

Cameras, talent, CGI, etc.

📺 Airtime: $8M

For 30 lousy seconds

GRAND_TOTAL: $10-13 MILLION

Return on Investment: UNKNOWN $0.00 🎉

[WHAT_ELSE_COULD_$8M_BUY?] 🛒

🏠 160 Houses

Average home price in many markets

🚗 200 Teslas

Model 3s for the whole company

🎓 160 Salaries

At $50K/year for talented people

🍕 1.6M Pizzas

Now THAT'S value

🏝️ A Private Island

In the Bahamas, probably

💼 Actual Marketing

That you can measure and optimize

OR... 30 SECONDS OF AD NOBODY REMEMBERS 🤷