Meet Princess Turbulence
"Princess Turbulence enjoys 3am zoomies, aggressively headbutting laptops during video calls, and staring at walls for reasons she refuses to disclose. She has never once apologized for anything."
*We did not take them back. They just showed up again. We don't know how.
How it works
Click the button
Press "Claim Today's Kitten." A legally binding cat contract is immediately generated. There is no cooling-off period.
Receive the cat
The kitten will arrive at your home within 3–5 business days, or immediately if she decides to. She schedules herself.
She owns your home now
Congratulations. You no longer own anything. The cat owns it. You are a roommate. A very privileged roommate who pays rent.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I get a cat if I already have a cat?
Yes. Cats are stackable. There is no known upper limit, though researchers are nervous about finding out.
What if I don't want a cat?
That's between you and the cat. We're just the middleman. Have you considered that the cat may already want you?
Is the cat free?
The cat is free. The cat's opinions on your furniture, however, will cost you dearly.
Can I return the cat?
You can try. She will be back before you are. We've seen it happen. We don't ask questions anymore.
Where do all the cats come from?
We don't know. We stopped asking in 2022. Every morning there are just more cats. The supply appears to be infinite. We have made peace with this.
Totally real reviews
★★★★★"I claimed Monday's kitten on a whim. By Wednesday she had reorganized my bookshelf by knocking everything off of it. I have never felt more seen."
★★★★★"The cat arrived before the confirmation email. I don't know how. The door was locked. 10/10 would recommend."
★★★☆☆"Three stars because the cat only lets me sit on one cushion now. But honestly that cushion is amazing and I'm grateful she allows it."
★★★★★"I claimed one cat. I now have four. I don't remember claiming the other three but I love them and I will not be investigating further."
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